If it sounds too good to be true...

by Shawna Scott October 29, 2014

I have seriously mixed feelings about crowd funding. When it's used for the powers of good like the Minna Limon, which has since become my favourite vibrator, or the Oh Joy Sex Toy book, it's exciting to watch great products receive the financial backing that they mightn't otherwise get that easily and participate in their success. However there are far too many out there that leave me wondering "How the eff did they ever get funding for that?!"

Take for example the recently funded Eva, by Brooklyn based design duo / potential Lena Dunham characters, Dame Products. My brain hurts just looking at it. Maybe that's because it looks a bit like the brain-burrowing scarabs from The Mummy. The matte plastic casing looks far more medical than sexy, and not in a sexy medical fetish sort of way either. The idea is that the spring loaded wings are meant to spread under your labia and hold the vibrating bit to your clitoris. Forgive the pun, but so many questions start to spring to mind: How is it meant to stay put during intercourse? Won't it slide out if I'm using lube? Do I have to take it off to change the vibration mode? Why does it have to look like a brain-burrowing scarab? The testimonial video doesn't do much to quell my concerns. In fact, a couple of their beta testers even admitted:

"There were some positions where it didn't stay in place perfectly..." 

"Occasionally it would pop out, but that wasn't a big deal, you just pop it back it."

Sorry...WHAT?! I understand it's at the prototype / beta testing phase, but this vibrator had one job: to be a handsfree vibrator, and it occasionally pops out? Also, what exactly is wrong with a handheld vibrator? Apparently loads, according to our panel of J. Crew models who seemed more concerned about damaging their partners' ego than toy functionality. Since the beginning of time it seems, toy manufacturers have been trying to create the perfect handsfree vibrator with varying degrees of success. But handheld vibrators will always stand the test of time, because the user is always going to be in control of pressure and placement. We know what feels best for us, and screw anyone who feels intimidated by me taking charge of my own pleasure by holding a vibrator exactly where I want it. It's not a bug, it's a feature. Dame Products call lack of intimacy; I call bullshit. If intimacy with your partner can be thwarted by the holding of a sex toy, you're relationship has bigger issues. 

I will agree that some bigger toys can get in the way when it comes to some positions during intercourse (mostly missionary), but that is easily solved: don't use a large toy during that position or switch up your positions a bit. Who said you have to maintain the same pose for the duration of any sexual encounter. If you're unable to switch things up due to pain or disability for either partner, do whatever you need to do to get each other off. That may mean the 2 of you (or more depending on if you work well as part of a team) taking care of your partner's needs, and then your own or vice versa. No one should be made to feel ashamed of how or what utensils they use to get off, and claiming that handheld toys lack intimacy does just that.

 I've not much faith in this toy, but I'll reserve my final judgements till after the final product is released. Until then, Dame Products, have a bit of a rethink and take your messaging and tone back to the drawing board.





Shawna Scott
Shawna Scott

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