An Open Letter to James Deen...about his fake penis.

by 1 July 09, 2013

400px-James_Deen_2010
© Glenn Francis

Dear James, I would like to fuck you. Like many women in their late 20's, I have seen your films and decided to add a mental image of you into my masturbatory routine. I squealed (that's right...squealed) with adolescent-like delight a few months ago when I saw the new James Deen dildo for sale on your website. It looked divine. The packaging was delightful with decent graphic design (so hard to come by in the toy industry) and a lovely photograph that shows off that adorkable, cheeky smile we've all come to know and love. However, my delight turned to abject horror when I found that your realistic James Deen dildo, made by Doc Johnson, was made of Sil-a-gel PVC (Sil-a-gel being a copyrighted antibacterial additive, NOT a combination of Silicone and PVC jelly as one might assume). The packaging claims that your dildo is Non-Pthalate. I found this rather hard to believe since PVC needs plasticizers to make them soft, and pthalates, due to complete lack of international regulation, have been the number 1 plastic softener of choice in the industry since the beginning of time. The problem is that they're terribly toxic, because by their very nature, they cause PVC to become unstable at a molecular level and leach out into the body (or onto anything it touches).

Pthalates have been linked to loads of different health issues including cancer. In fact, Pthalates are of such concern that George W. Bush, a man whose own administration was never too big on regulation of any sort, signed into law the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act, ensuring that children's toys or any childcare product is made with less than .1% Pthalates. You can read more about Pthalates here, and I highly suggest that you do, James, because this is where you come in. James, meet Dildology. Dildology, James. Dildology is a website that independently verifies the materials used in popular sex toys. Sadly Dildology have to exist, because unlike children's toys, sex toys are not regulated and do not require testing so long as the manufacturer labels their products as "Novelty items."  My suspicions about your dildo were confirmed after toy review blogger, Epiphora, posted a link on twitter to a Dildology report that found, despite the Doc Johnson James Deen dildo having "Non-Pthalate" printed on the packaging, 61% of it's composition is in fact Pthalates. What's even more shocking is that Doc Johnson actually have a Platinum Silicone vibrating version of your cock. Why should the non-vibrating version be any different?

Your fans need you, James. I need you. I'm asking you as currently the biggest male star in the pornosphere to please stand up to Doc Johnson and demand that all their products (especially ones with your name on them) meet FDA requirements for "medical devices." I personally have a hunger for social justice, and since revisiting Xena: Warrior Princess on Netflix this week, that hunger has grown even stronger. One thing I think we can all learn from Xena and her adventures across the ancient Greek/New Zealand landscape is that everyone has the ability to do good in this world and everyone deserves a second chance to redeem themselves. I believe Doc Johnson, one of the biggest names in the adult toy industry, deserve a second chance and are more than capable to turn their act around and redeem themselves. If however they are unable or unwilling to do so, there are plenty of other reputable toy companies (cough...Tantus...cough...Vixen...)out there who would LOVE to have your likeness as part of their already body safe ranges.

When I started writing this letter, I originally wanted to say that you should come over to Dublin and bone me, James, since I sadly shan't be boning your fake bone. But it wouldn't be right. As much as I'd love to see you all sorts of nekkid in real life, I'd much rather see you all sorts of clothed in the media standing up for my pussy and pussies all around the world who call themselves James Deen fans. This would truly make my fantasies (or at least the ones not involving a Xena costume) come true. Yours Sincerely, Shawna (Owner of Sex Siopa dot com) Update: After the Twitter-sphere quite rightly corrected me on my definition of Sil-a-gel (a Doc Johnson copyrighted antibacterial additive rather than a mix of silicone and PVC), I did a bit of research. It seems I'm not the only one out there who feels duped into thinking Sil-a-gel had anything to do silicone. I also noticed on Doc Johnson's own website, they have different classifications for "Pthalate-free" and "Non-Pthalate." I'd be very curious to know what the difference is meant to be and how the eff they expect consumers to know the difference.

DocJ

Doc Johnson has also responded to Dildology's findings with the following letter (located below the Dildology report).





1
1

Author